Wednesday will mark one year since my total hysterectomy. It's funny, but I actually looked back at last January's post to take myself to that place where the surgery and the emotions were so fresh and raw. When I wrote H is for Hysterectomy I was only one month post op, but even then I could glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel. Looking back now, I am proud to share that I feel the healthiest I have ever felt in my life. There are no more hemorrhagic episodes that left me weak for days on end. There are no more nights writhing in pain. Nor are there anymore iron supplements to take. Most importantly, there are no more what ifs and questions. I know I did everything I could before deciding to have the surgery that resulted in my hysterectomy, and my body has thanked me by rebounding in such an astounding way. I honestly didn't know I could feel this healthy or have this much energy to chase after my Sutton (and boy, does he keep me moving)! So if you have recently had a hysterectomy, whether the result of cancer, a fibroid tumor, endometriosis, past pregnancy complications or other physical ailments, my advice to you is to hang in there and stay strong. And although it will change from day to day depending on how you feel, give your best each day. I promise you there will come a day when your body and heart will catch up with your head.
Ofcourse I would be lying if I said that all of the healing - all the moments of breathing easy, the joy and satisfaction found in being a healthy person - is not challenged by moments of sheer frustration and disappointment. Maybe even a bit of self pity at times. If I am being truly honest, I still feel pangs in my stomach when friends and family members announce pregnancies. I still get watery-eyed when I see maternity photos of growing baby bumps, knowing that that special moment could not be captured with the premature birth of my son, and will never be captured. That feeling doesn't escape me either when I look at my son, as his presence alone is a miracle. My son has grown into such an incredible little boy - so smart, so funny and so loving. My husband and I want to give him everything we can muster, and that includes the dream of giving Sutton a sibling someday. Although we don't know when or how that will come to pass, we just trust in our faith. We believe that God is working in our favor, and that whatever may come to be, is meant for a reason. Just talking has healed us - even if over quick cups of morning coffee or in a simple drive to the grocery store. Those are the humble and precious moments that have allowed us to come to terms with our loss. It's the every day conversations and the recognition of the hopes we still have that make this a household steadfast in love and prayer.
As the holidays are upon us, I am wishing all of the His Middle Name family and friends a healthy and happy winter season. Thank you all for your love and support over this past year, and for growing our small community with your favor. It's your acknowledgement of His Middle Name that makes it such a relevant cause and helps grow the His Middle Name mission. To all of you, thank you for allowing me to share my life with you and for trusting me with your own experiences. Please remember that this website, blog and Facebook page is for ALL preemie parents and women who have suffered pregnancy complications - no matter how you got there or how far you are along in the journey. From my home to yours, may your season be filled with comfort and peace.
Ofcourse I would be lying if I said that all of the healing - all the moments of breathing easy, the joy and satisfaction found in being a healthy person - is not challenged by moments of sheer frustration and disappointment. Maybe even a bit of self pity at times. If I am being truly honest, I still feel pangs in my stomach when friends and family members announce pregnancies. I still get watery-eyed when I see maternity photos of growing baby bumps, knowing that that special moment could not be captured with the premature birth of my son, and will never be captured. That feeling doesn't escape me either when I look at my son, as his presence alone is a miracle. My son has grown into such an incredible little boy - so smart, so funny and so loving. My husband and I want to give him everything we can muster, and that includes the dream of giving Sutton a sibling someday. Although we don't know when or how that will come to pass, we just trust in our faith. We believe that God is working in our favor, and that whatever may come to be, is meant for a reason. Just talking has healed us - even if over quick cups of morning coffee or in a simple drive to the grocery store. Those are the humble and precious moments that have allowed us to come to terms with our loss. It's the every day conversations and the recognition of the hopes we still have that make this a household steadfast in love and prayer.
As the holidays are upon us, I am wishing all of the His Middle Name family and friends a healthy and happy winter season. Thank you all for your love and support over this past year, and for growing our small community with your favor. It's your acknowledgement of His Middle Name that makes it such a relevant cause and helps grow the His Middle Name mission. To all of you, thank you for allowing me to share my life with you and for trusting me with your own experiences. Please remember that this website, blog and Facebook page is for ALL preemie parents and women who have suffered pregnancy complications - no matter how you got there or how far you are along in the journey. From my home to yours, may your season be filled with comfort and peace.
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