This year I resolve to:
Say I'm sorry more
Remain faithful and prayerful (even when difficult)
Snuggle up with my family on rainy days
Eat cupcakes whenever I want
Escape on a beach vacation when least expected
Tell more corny jokes
Yes, it may be a simple list but it's just enough to keep this busy mom on her toes! I imagine for some of these real life - school, work, deadlines, scraped knees, laundry, trips to the grocery store - will get in the way and they just won't be possible. Here's hoping I surprise myself in 2014!
I am also hoping that I surprise you too! I have so many plans for His Middle Name that I don't even know where to begin! If I'm being honest, I think that was another reason I didn't write a blog post in January. What would I share? Why would anyone be interested in the musings (actually, the scrawlings and chicken scratch notes) of what I think I can do with His Middle Name? I kept doubting myself, wondering if I had it in me to take His Middle Name to where I know it should be; where it needs to be. I don't remember the exact moment I was inspired to share my story, but I knew that I had to. I had to write it and purge it and get it all out to heal myself. And I wrote it for you too.
FOR YOU. For the preemie parent that is so deeply folded into the NICU and the survival of their precious tiny child that they don't know how they will ever crawl out and rejoin the rest of the world knowing life will never be the same. For you, the one going through the motions and keeping inadequately distracted between NICU visits and hourly phone calls just to "check in" because everything else seems so trivial. For you that harbors a feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes it hard to eat, digest, stand still, sleep. Feeling all alone, even when surrounded by a crowd, family, friends, your partner. Believe me, I have been there.
FOR YOU. For the woman that has bled, has been put on bed rest, has used up all her sick and vacation days at work trying to keep her pregnancy viable. For you, the woman that did everything right, only to miscarry for the third time. For you, the woman that did everything right, only to go into labor weeks and weeks early. That feeling when you know something isn't right and you have to rush to the hospital with thoughts you don't dare speak out loud racing through your head. Believe me, I have been there.
FOR YOU. My hyster sisters. The women that have been hysterectomized whether by choice or not; whether fully informed or not, I am so sorry for your loss. And believe me, it is a loss - the important lifelong functions of a hormone-responsive reproductive organ are permanently gone. Whether it was fibroids, endometriosis, cancer, or a surgery gone awry, the outcome is the same. For the woman that wanted health, wanted another child, wanted to be cancer free. Believe me, I hear you and I have been there.
For all of you - welcome to His Middle Name. Even if you have been following on Facebook for ages or a friend referred you to this page or you just stumbled upon our little community today, I welcome you and hope to hear from you. I hope to steer His Middle Name in the right direction, and even though I'm a bit intimidated, I'm ready for some big changes and big challenges. Here's to shaking things up in 2014!