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World Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day 2012

10/15/2012

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Firstly, on this beautiful October day, I want to welcome all of the new His Middle Name friends and fans. Thank you for supporting His Middle Name through the Facebook page and by your kind emails of encouragement. By supporting this website and Facebook page, you are lifting yourselves up and in turn, being a support and example to others.
His Middle Name has naturally evolved from being a preemie support and education website to include support for women who have had pregnancy complications. That includes women who have suffered a miscarriage, women who have had an ectopic pregnancy, a still birth or those who have lost a child after giving birth, whether premature or full term.
Today, World Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, is so important to the His Middle Name cause because it is so closely linked to premature birth and other pregnancy complications. I also have several dear friends that have suffered a loss, and one of the only things I can do besides offering a sympathetic ear, is to raise awareness of such a sacred and necessary day. By increasing the awareness of this movement, support can be offered to the many women and parents that grieve the loss of a pregnancy or baby, and hopefully community efforts can be put in place to offer support groups and grief counseling.
Sadly, the statistics don't lie. The stark reality is that one in every three pregnancies end in loss. The prevalence of still birth is astounding - one in every 148 births, and the loss of an infant shortly after birth is three in 1,000. When I see these numbers, all I think about is how easily it could have been me, my child. I think of friends of mine that tell me their well-meaning loved ones often say, "Well, you can try again" or "At least you have one." I know those words sting - I've heard them myself.
Let's make today a celebration of life - remembering that even the tiniest and briefest of lives can make such an indelible impact in ones' heart. Allow your friends and family that have suffered a loss a chance to remember and grieve. Let them share how they are feeling and simply listen, and then listen some more. Tonight, no matter where you are in the world, you can light a candle of remembrance at 7pm. If there is a candle lit at 7pm across the world in every time zone, then there will be continuous light to offer reflection, hope and awareness and to honor the lives lost. To all of my dear friends that have suffered the loss of a child, my thoughts and prayers will be with you as I light my candle tonight.


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Our Miracle Baby: Two Years Older

10/3/2012

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I can't believe my son is two years old today! He has grown so much and continues to amaze Brad and me with his resiliency, strength and spirited zest for life and learning. He constantly sings, counts and reads books, and I swear he has an eidetic memory because his recall is astounding! His energy is through the roof, and to prove it, I don't have one photo of him at his birthday party with his Mommy and Daddy because he refused to sit still for two moments! He just ran, played, climbed and jumped at his pirate themed party, and instead of trying to bridle him down, I just reveled in it. I just love my little man so much, and we are so blessed to be his parents and have him as our own.
At times giving birth to him seems so far away from where we are now as a family, and at other times, I get stark reminders that he was born three months early. Little things that we are still working on, albeit gently, to get Sutton to where he needs to be so that we can close the gap on that three months he lost in the womb.
For example, Sutton still doesn't have many teeth. He has four incisors on the top and four on the bottom, but his molars are still struggling to come in. This has created a challenge for Sutton when eating bigger chunks of food such as meat and course vegetables. Without his molars, his ability to chew and grind down these bigger pieces of food is difficult. We are slowly getting there by experimenting with textures and adding chunkier pieces of meat and veggies to soups. And although Sutton is high tone and proportionate, he can still wear clothes labeled 18 months. Simply stated, he is small for a two year old. It really depends on the brand of clothes, but give or take a few pieces in his closet that are size 24 months and 2T, most are still 18 months.
We are also on "high alert" when Sutton gets sick. Thank goodness he's only been sick twice since he was born (both small colds he was over in a couple of days), but illnesses such a simple fever or RSV that others can treat at home, can land Sutton back in the hospital very easily. This isn't just our struggle either, as many preemie parents deal with fear and anxiety during cold and flu season. Short of locking your little ones away (aka "germ jail"), there are many precautions and extra steps taken when you're a preemie parent this time of year. With that said, Brad and I have learned to relax a bit over the last year. With the guidance of a wonderful pediatrician, developmental therapist and friends that are going through similar struggles as preemie parents, its a little easier to accept our challenges and not feel alone in this journey.
Celebrating today goes beyond blowing out candles on a cake or beautifully wrapped gifts. It is a chance to honor a life. Sutton's life. The beauty of it is all too overwhelming, so I turn to John Lennon. We often sing his song "Beautiful Boy" to Sutton, and he just smiles as we dance him around the living room. Happy Birthday to my beautiful boy - Mommy loves you!

Close your eyes, have no fear
The monster's gone - he's on the run, and your Daddy's here
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer
Every day, in every way, it's getting better and better
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Out on the ocean sailing away, I can hardly wait to see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
Cause it's a long way to go, a hard row to hoe
Yes, it's a long way to go but in the meantime ...
Before you cross the street, take my hand
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy


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    I’m a southern gal to the core who lives for my family, has a serious weakness for chocolate, a penchant for anything that can be monogrammed and loves to craft and sew. Thank you for your interest and welcome to His Middle Name!

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